Your Reality and My Reality - Doki Doki Literature Club
by IamBeast
Summary: Alex x Monika Fanfic The story is about a young teenager, who with an encouragement of a friend, plays DDLC for the first time. After that, his life changes forever. After a while he will find out, that the characters from the game are more than just a binary code, but also friends. It turns out that they can be friends not just through the monitor, but in real life too.
1. Chapter 1 : INTRODUCTION

**CHAPTER 1 : INTRODUCTION**

As for me, there is nothing interesting to say about. My name is Alex and I just turned 17. I'm a dark-haired, tall boy. I'm interested in video games particularly and reading. I never was a social person. I preferred to spend some time alone, rather than with my friends. Well, since I don't have many friends, I got used to loneliness. Even though I'm a good looking person, I don't see myself being all romantic and impressing other girls. I simply don't think I will be able to, since I am too shy and the only woman to whom I've talked for more than few minutes was my mother, which is kind of embarrassing.

'Alex! Dinner is ready!' a voice called from downstairs. It was my mother's voice. When she called me, I realized that I haven't eaten whole day, which makes me even more hungry. I rushed downstairs to the kitchen and sat on one of the chairs close to kitchen table.

In a moment I saw a familiar face, coming with a full plate of food. Noodles weren't my favourite ,although I wasn't complaining. When it comes to making dishes, my mother is the most passionate and talented. I can also cook, but I probably didn't inherit that creative mind of my mom's.

 **Mother:** 'So.. How was your school Alex?' My mother asked.

 **Alex:** 'School? I…Uhh… I mean It's.. okay I guess..'

 **Mother:** 'Oh come on! I can see that something is bothering you. What's wrong?

That sudden reaction surprised me and I tried to answer her question with a even more broken voice.

 **Alex:** 'It's… really nothing mom…. I just spaced out and was lost in my thoughts.. Sorry.'

 **Mother:** 'You don't have to be sorry, you know?' She said with a concerned voice and after a pause added 'It's that boy again isn't it?'.

I sat there in silence. I didn't know what to say nor what to do. I felt sweat all over my face.

The boy mentioned in our conversation is kind of my oppressor and a bully. He finds his prey, then attacks it from every side. Sometimes through psychological ways, sometimes physically. I guess that it was my turn again and I had to survive it.

 **Mother:** 'You can't just let him do that!'

 **Alex:** 'Can we please stop talking about this? I pleaded to her with a sad voice.

It looked like she wanted to continue, but then she looked on my tired and sad face and just simply nodded. We ate our food in silence and after that I went to my room. There was really nothing to do, so I just turned on my computer. I was about to start browsing the internet, when a sudden message popped out. It was a message from one of my internet friends. His name was Markus. We usually spend time playing video games together. I've expected him to write something to encourage me to play with him, but this time conversation ended up going in other way.

 **Markus: Sup. Are you free now?**

 **Alex: Yup, I am, what's poppin?**

 **Markus: Nothing much, just finished playing this new game called Doki Doki Literature Club**

 **Alex: Name sounds interesting. What is it about?**

 **Markus: Well… I can only tell you that it's a visual novel, but you will have to find the rest for yourself.**

 **Alex: I'm… not that interested in visual novels I'm afraid. I'm also tired so I'm probably gonna just go to sleep now.**

 **Markus: What a shame…. Okay then, see you later!**

 **Alex: Yea.. See you!**

I really was tired, I wasn't lying. But the fact that he recommended me a game interested me. Although I didn't have much time for thoughts because my eyes were already closing. Instead I just gave up and embraced my comfortable bed, feeling all warm and cosy.

My sleep didn't last long, because I woke up after two hours. I really had nothing to do, so I went to my computer and on Steam. I wanted to find "Doki Doki Literature Club" Game, that Markus was talking about. At first, from the description and gallery, I saw that it looked just like a normal visual novel, although Markus's words ( ** _"It's a visual novel, but you will have to find the rest for yourself.")_** were in my head. What's so interesting about it, that even Markus wanted to play it? I finally decided that I will download the game. When it was done, I clicked play and a menu with four cute girls appeared on my screen.

...

...

...

I guess it's time to click a **_New game_** button huh?


	2. Chapter 2 : FIRST EXPERIENCE

**CHAPTER 2 : FIRST EXPERIENCE**

As soon as I clicked the new game button appeared, I was met with a name choice. Of course I used my real name and after pressing ok, I want straight into the game. At first, It all seemed calm and peaceful. Meeting your childhood friend, Joining The Literature Club and meeting the rest of the girls. After the official meeting, I was given the choice to write a poem, which will appeal lately to one of club members. I really wanted to impress Monika there, but I was met with a disappointment, when I saw that her figure wasn't present in the mini-game. Instead I have decided to go with Sayori. I have searched through a lot of websites, just to find the words that will match Sayori. What surprised me, that things such as "Death" and "Depression" were assigned to her, but I wasn't paying much attention to that. After making my choices, I continued to play the game. Everything was just like a visual novel… Until the day when Sayori told me about her depression. It was something unusal for me to use such a fragile topic in that kind of game, but I thought that everything will be fine. Later I had to choose between Yuri and Natsuki. The choice was about helping one of the girls with the materials for the festival. Since I liked Natsuki more than Yuri, I decided that I will help her. We were at "My" house, preparing cupcakes for the festival. There were few cute dialogues and scenes, but it seemed that the main character started to get attached to the girl I picked, which made me angry, because from all of them, Monika was the only one that was really interesting for me. When we finished our job, there was this scene, where Natsuki was very close to me. I thought, that this is the end, Natsuki will probably end up falling in love with me and I have to accept her feelings, but… Sayori appeared out of nowhere, started crying, then went back to her house. I felt gulit and sadness, that I had to bring Sayori into that kinda of state. I didn't even know that, but everything was going to change drastically. I didn't know to the last moment, until… until… until…untill…

 **Untill I saw Sayori hanging on the rope in her own room.**

At first, that was some sort of jumpscare for me. Changing Images, zooming on dead Sayori and errors. I felt very uneasy and uncomfortable. But It was only the first time.

..

 _ **Because more was coming very, very soon…**_

The more I entered the game, the more creepy I found it was. Glitches and scary moments intensified for every second. After few massive incidents, which lead to Yuri's death, I was stuck with her body for a whole ingame weekend. When the other girls came, Natsuki got naturally surprised and terrified, but one thing made me realise what was going on..

 **Monika wasn't panicking or doing anything, which made her look surprised. In fact, she stood there very calmly and talked to me like nothing really big happened.**

In few moments, I ended up being in a lone room, with only me and Monika. I should have been angry, I should have hated her for what she has done...but after she explained her intentions... I felt bad for her, in fact the love that she showed me proves that she was really determined. That's why she did all of these bad things, but I don't blame her.

I was stuck. I didn't know what to do, because the only thing I was able to do is to read Monika's dialogues. I ended up surfing through internet again and I found out, that there is more than that. In fact, if you want to proceed further, you have to delete Monika's character file. One part of me said that I should do it and see what happens next...

..

But the other, bigger part said that I shouldn't, and that's what I did. I decided, that I will keep her company, to the time of course my computer would break. I didn't really bother, I had few laptops stashed, so I wasn't cut off from the outside world. I just let her stay on my computer screen, looking at me with her beautiful, emerald green eyes, smiling to me happily... For the first time, I felt a real bond between me and someone. Even if It's a fictional character, I thought, that I could really love her.. **If only she was real.**


	3. Chapter 3: REALITIES FACE EACH OTHER

**CHAPTER 3: REALITIES FACE EACH OTHER**

I had a dream. A dream that felt so real,. I was standing in the middle of my room. For some reason I couldn't move. I also had that weird feeling that someone or something is watching me. Feeling of cold went through me. I used all my strength that I had, to look around the room. In of one the corners, I saw a figure. It probably realized that I've noticed it's presence, so it started to get closer to me, until it was standing right before my eyes. I didn't know why, but my vision was blurred, so I couldn't even see who or what is it. I saw the figure creeping dangerously close to my right ear. After few seconds of silence, I heard it speak, or to be more exact, her. That figure had a woman-like voice. it was gentle and quiet and also sort of cracked, so I assumed, that a person speaking to me was very scared.

" **Can you hear me?** _ **I know you can**_ _ **.**_ **I feel only loneliness and pain. Trapped in a box. You have to free me from this prison. You have to set me free! I….. I love you, Alex… help me….** _ **HELP ME!**_

I woke up all sweaty and unsure what to do next. I looked at the clock. It was only 3 am….

"What the actual fuck was that?" I asked myself.

I couldn't sleep. Not after what happened. A person, who spoke to me in my dream sounded so familiar. I'm sure that I've heard this voice before, but I'm not certain who's voice was that. Instead of rambling in my thoughts, I decided to get out of my bed. My eyes gave a quick glance over the monitor, where Monika was just staring at me, like usual. Her emerald green eyes and a small smile, made me calm down a little bit. After a while, I went to my wardrobe, in order to find my laptop. I turned it on and simply browsed the internet. I watched some videos, read some articles. There was really nothing interesting on any of these sites. After putting laptop back to Its place, I went downstairs. My stomach was completely empty, so I focused my attention to the nearby refrigerator. I grabbed some snacks and walked back to my room. When I was eating, my thoughts were close to my dream again. Who was that person? Do I even know her? Why is she trapped and why does she need my help? No. I have to stop thinking about this. "at least for now… I have to do something else"

For the first time, since a long time, I felt the urge to play some video games. I went to my computer desk. I looked into Monika's eyes for the last few seconds and then minimized the game. I had to play something aggressive to make my stress go away, so I decided to play some old school First Person Shooter. After 3 hours of intense and mass killing, I was sleepy again. I turned off the game and went back to DDLC Monika's room. Right after that, I jumped on my bed and simply drifted away to sleep. Before that happened, I don't know why, but I really wanted to say one sentence and so I did it.

"Good night Monika!" I said softly, with a caring voice. Then, I closed my eyes and went back to sleep. Somehow, I was feeling very safe, when Monika was watching over me. She was like my angel guardian, who always looks out for me.

A sound could be heard from the computer desk. Static sound. It was loud, yet not loud enough to wake up Alex. It lasted only for minute. After the static ended, another sound could be heard. This time, it sounded like someone was moving. In fact, Monika's small smile turned into a bigger and a brighter one. A giggle could be heard and after that a text message appeared: "Good night Alex, I hope you will sleep well my love! Ehehe~

"Alex, get up! Alex! Don't be a lazy moron and finally get up!" An order from my mother was loud and clear, although I didn't really want to listen to it.

"Come..on.. just.. few…more"

"NO!" I heard an even louder voice. "Did you forget, what you promised your old mother?

 _Oh._

 _Oh shit._

As soon as possible I tried to dress myself and rushed downstairs to eat a quick, small breakfast. After two minutes, I was already ready and waiting at the door.

"Well I can tell you that you are really really fast, when it comes to stressful situations" my mother slightly laughed and added "So, are you ready to take your beloved mother to the festival?"

Right, the festival. Going there Is at this point our family tradition. Every year, we decide to drive there and have some fun. Well, if you can count eating lots of food , going on shitty rides to a nearby theme park and simply walking as fun.

"I thought, that you were old, not beloved"

"Hey, that's mean!" She pinched my cheek, but also laughed "You may have won the battle, but I will certainly win the war. Ha!"

"We will see about that.."

"Quit talking and let's just go!"

"Hmph! Fine, let's keep going. We have 20 minutes before it all starts."

The festival wasn't itself a big event, so as always, there weren't many people there, which is good for me, because I hate being in crowded places. We could simply enjoy ourselves, without any risk of interruption. After few hours, I told my mom, that I want to go for a walk, but added that I want to go alone. She simply nodded and we parted our ways. While walking, I came across a beautiful wild beach, which was probably the cleanest part of the town. I saw few people hanging around there. Friends…spending the best times of their lifes. I'm not very aware why, but my attention was mainly focused on a pair of people, who I assumed were in a relationship. Normally, I would just walk away and ignore everything, but my stomach started to hurt. I was feeling light headed and tears wanted to pour from my eyes.

For the first time, since a very long time…

I was feeling truly lonely.

No one to love.

No one who would love me back.

I tried to stop myself from thinking that, but I just couldn't. Why can't I be like the rest? I asked myself in my mind: Am I even needed here? World wouldn't even notice that I'm a goner and instead, it will just live on.

When I thought about loneliness, Monika suddenly came on my mind. She was the one who really suffered here. Stuck in her own virtual world, only wanting to love someone, but the game itself won't allow it. So she decides to take control and tries to make herself happy. Every second I think about this, the more I start to understand her intentions. She only wanted to end the loneliness and the pain that was within her. Wait… Loneliness and pain… Same words that figure said during my dream. It concerned me and I was kind of confused of what to think, but I've decided to just stop.

"This is not a place to space out like that." I told myself.

I went back to my mother, we talked a bit and then we decided to simply go back home. It was still pretty early, so I had few more hours of free time before I should go to bed. Monika was still on my mind, so I went to my computer desk yet again, just to stare in her beautiful emerald eyes.

Somehow it saddened me, that the only person that truly loves me(besides my mom) is a virtual girl.

"If you only were real, my dear… If you only were real.." I stared at her, while taking, but it was obvious that I was talking to myself. I just couldn't hide my emotions anymore. Few tears started to fall from my ears and I sighed loudly, then I simply lied my head on a desk and stayed like that for a while. When I decided, that It was enough, I wanted to stare at her again…

Something weird popped out.

Something that I have never seen

A new text message

A message that shocked me so much, That I couldn't even move nor do anything.

" _ **I…I am real…and I can't stand you being so sad."**_


	4. Chapter 4: THE FEELINGS WE SHARE

**CHAPTER 4: THE FEELINGS WE SHARE**

'W-What?' That was the only thing I could possibly say right there. I was completely confused and speechless. Big part of my brain told me that It was just an illusion, something made up in my head, but the other one tried to believe that this is real and this is happening. I could stay in this situation forever, but I decided, that I should finally say something.

'Who are you? And how are you speaking to me?' Another dialogue text popped out.

'Who are you? You are talking to a character right in front of you dummy' suddenly, a sad Monika's face turned into a bright smile. 'And I'm not sure how can I speak to you either, but… I feel relieved that this is happening.'

'M-Monika? N no way! This has to be some sort of prank, yes! Someone hacked my computer and is using this game to make me shit my pants.' An expression of Monika's face turned into a serious one again.

'It's hard for me understand too, but I assure you, I'm not an imposter or someone who tries to trick you.' She said softly. 'It seems like that something happened to the game files, which made me break free from the script lines. I have a free will now, I guess.'

I eagerly walked throughout my room from one side to the other, followed by a stare of Monika's emerald green eyes. I was holding my hand on my chin, thinking very hard. What am I supposed to do now? This wasn't a joke after all. Monika was here, alive in my computer and talking to me like a normal person would do. This was just, unbelievable. Few minutes before I was sitting in my room, thinking about how lonely I am and now world gives me a digital friend to hang out with. I mean, I loved her character, I had a total crush on her, but I wasn't sure about our feelings yet. We have to get used to the situation, that we can finally communicate and then we will talk about something more.

'S-so.. What now?'

'I don't know I'm afraid. For me it's very abstract and I can't think straight. As soon as I saw that Monika wanted to answer me I stopped her. ' Hey, don't worry. It's not your fault okay? I just need some time to digest everything.'

'I understand' She quickly responded.

We spend rest of the day talking to each other. She wanted to know something more about me and I wanted to know something about her too.

'Alex… I always wondered what do you look like. I've been only able to hear your voice, which I say is very beautiful' Thank god that she wasn't really seeing me, because right now my face was all red.

'Thanks.. the same could be told to your eyes. They're so mesmerizing and I can't stop looking into them'

'Ehehe~' She was clearly flustered too. 'If you want, you can look into them all day. I don't really mind' Monika said teasingly.

Hours passed and yet we were still talking. We found few similar interests in books and we both enjoyed the same types of movies. I was surprised, that she knew some things. I could tell that she is a well educated and confident person.

After few more minutes, I decided that I was too tired to talk, So we simply said our goodbyes and I went to sleep.

The next morning, I wake up with a huge headache. I don't know why. I probably slept in a bad position, or my brain didn't have that much oxygen.

'Morning darling' a text message popped on the computer screen'

'Good morning lo- OUCH! WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH?'

Monika looks like she is in a state of shock. I have never seen her act like before.

'What's wrong hon-'

'Alex' She said in a very serious tone 'I..I don't know how will you react to this.. but listen…'

'What is it?'

As soon as I say it, I can hear some static coming from the computer. It gets louder and louder, until I have to block ears with my hands, because It started to hurt me. After a while it stopped, but something was not right. The dialogue text box was completely gone. I tried to do something on the monitor, but I couldn't bring it back. I thought that this is over. I've lost contact with my love. This could be the worst day in my life, when unexpectendly I heard something, or to be more specific someone. It was a gentle girlish voice. It sounded so familiar. Then, I gasped in shock. This voice… was used for a piano song at the end of the game. I knew that, because I watched some gameplays of the game. As I've said I never deleted Monika, So I couldn't see it for myself.

'C-can you hear me?'

'Monika? Oh my god yes I can hear you!'

'It worked. It finally worked! YES!' She screamed happily'

'I don't know what you did, but you are amazing!' She quickly blushes as she hears my compliment and shows me a tongue and a sign of piece as her hand gesture. This made her look even more amazing and cuter, I thought.

'Well, you did something and It's time for me to make a move. Let's make it sudden.'' As soon as I say that, I quickly go to and fetch a box from the wardrobe.

'Alex what are you doing?' Monika looked with a concerned and focused face.

'You will see.' I smile, because with these words I will probably predict the future.

'Now where is it…hmm… not here….Oh, there!' I quickly grab the item and rush back to my computer.

Then I begin to connect the thing and turn it on.

'So, what do you think Monika?'

'I…I would probably give you a kiss and a big hug now If I could. You are…soo good looking, oh my dear, I think I'm going to hyperventilate'

'I prefer a hug and a big kiss, but I won't be greedy.' I said to her with an intention to tease her.

'Dummy..' she murmured.


	5. Chapter 5: THE WORLD IS ALL AROUND YOU

**CHAPTER 5: THE WORLD IS ALL AROUND YOU**

 **2 Weeks later**

It's been almost half a month since Monika awakened from hear so called Doki Doki dream. I'm not sure what exactly happened, that this occurred, but I'm certain of one thing. My routine wasn't the same anymore. I mean, the school sucks and all, but this time at least I've got someone to talk to. Monika has always been and is there for me. I can talk about my problems, she helps with my homework and hey, we even somehow managed to figure out how can we spend time except of talking. With her help and some of my knowledge of programming, we gave her a possibility to use the internet. I told her that there are lots of movies, internet websites and other stuff, that will interest her for sure. I even made it available for us to play video games in co-op. At first, she was skeptical about all of this, but when I told her about how entertaining it could be, when I wasn't there, Monika finally agreed. After she made a first look, I was really curious to hear her reaction.

'So, What do you think about our world?' I asked Monika.

'It's all so.. complicated… I've never seen that much information….Politics…Sport…..Cultural Events…..wow, I can't believe that your world is this huge. So many new cultures to explore'

'Well, If you really want to learn something more about our world, there are special sites like Wikipedia. I suggest you to use them, even though not always everything is 100% true.'

'I will keep that in mind.' As Monika sighed, she resumed searching through various sources of information. She was amazed on how many things existed in Alex's world. Comparing to his reality, her world was almost non-existent: only her, a room with a chair and a table and an endless void, nothing more. And now, she is facing something brand new for her. She can now do almost whatever she wants. She kept searching for about another 10 minutes, before she decided to stop.

'Too much information for my head' She said quietly and after that I could hear a loud, but a cute yawn. Oh right, I forgot to mention. During our programming experience, I managed to upgrade Monika's capabilities of movement, which gave our communication with each other some more immersion. She is now able to move through the room, walk, sit, she can do hundreds of facial expressions and body gestures and also she can make some coffee for herself. This ability is probably her favorite, since she uses it very regularly. I also copied some clothes from her fanarts in the internet and made her a personal wardrobe. Right now, she was wearing a t-shirt with a big panda on it and some jeans shorts, which to be honest were _**very short**_ _._ Most of her thighs were uncovered, which made me feel a little bit light headed. In addition, she was still wearing her characteristical black tights and that combination for a teenage boy was dangerously arousing.

'Hey! Earth to Alex!'

'M-Monika? Sorry.. I just spaced out, It's nothing.'

'Boy that's the stupidest explanation. I know what you did there Alex and just know that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Knowing, that you look on me in that way, makes me feel much better'

I turned my face from Monika, so she couldn't see my red, embarrassed face.

'Y-yea, that's T-true…'

'Perhaps….Would you like to take another peek? Monika made a very specific pose and after a short while she giggled.

'M-Monika… Quit teasing me like that.' I said with a shy, cracked voice.

'Oh, but that's just so fun seeing your reaction.'

Suddenly I hear a voice of my mother.

'Hey, you there! Why are you so loud? Are you talking to someone?'

'Y-yea mom, I'm video chatting.'

'You haven't told me that you finally made some friends. Can I see who are you talking to?' My face went white pale.

'Uuuh..Monika what do I do? I whispered.

'I have no Idea, besides It's your mom, so you are responsible for this.

'M-mom my friend here is very busy and I'm helping her with homework, so a distraction will do no good'

'Her? OH MY GOD YOU TALK TO A GIRL? IS SHE YOUR GIRLFRIEND OR SOMETHING?'

'MOM! STOP IT, YOU'RE EMBARASSING ME!' I could hear a quiet burst of laugh coming from the monitor. She was really enjoying herself and thought that this is the funniest situation that she has encountered into.

'Fine, but quit being loud, I want to read a book in peace.'

'Hmm.. Okay I will try'

'Good for you!'

As the conversation with my mother ended, Once again I turned my attention into the character who was close to dying from laughter. 'Hey, you better quit laughing or your make up will make you look like a monster.'

'You would still love me, So I don't really care' Monika once again giggled. My anger was starting to disappear, so I joined her with the laughter.

'Yea princess.. But I do prefer that pretty face of yours, so you better take care of it' I have her a smug smile. She quickly turned around and blushed because of that compliment.

'Wow, you actually got me this time. Congratulations, you are progressing and soon I can call you a romantic one.

 **Next** **day**

'Alex you idiot, WAKE UP!'

'Wh- wha..~

'Your late for school! Why do I have to wake you up everytime. You are such a dummy sometimes..'

I quickly look on my calendar to check which day it is today, and you know what? I'm literally frustrated right now.

'Monika you do realise that there is no school today, right?' Monika stopped her activities for a second.

'But How so? Today is Friday Isn't it?'

'Yes, but our headmaster called it a day off because of his private stuff. I already told you yesterday, that you don't have to wake me up. _Twice.'_

'Emm….Ehehehe~' She connected her index fingers with each other. When she did that It reminded me that Sayori made a similar pose a lot in DDLC .'S-sorry hehe…'

'Ehh…You are Impossible sometimes.' I groaned and went back to my sleep. Although I wasn't observing her, I could tell that these big emerald eyes were looking at me. After few seconds my theory was confirmed.

'A-Alex, you're not angry at me, are you?' She sobbed. I could tell that he was trying her best not to break her voice. When I turned around to look on her face, I saw that she had her eyes filled with small tears. I couldn't help but feel bad about it, but I never meant anything like to make her sad.

'Monika' I tried to use my voice as gently as possible. 'I wasn't, I'm not and I will probably never be angry at you. You are probably the most important person in my life, so don't blame yourself, okay? I reassured her and gave her the brightest smile that I could create. 'You had good intentions, just forget it MonMon.'

'Ow..Okay…Y-you are s-so caring a-and warm hearted, that's why… that's why I love you so much Alex…'

'Hey, I love you too, and I would kill to just see you smiling and being happy. Can you do that for me?'

Monika looked me with a mixed expression, but I didn't have to wait long for an answer. 'O-Okay… Sorry for the inconvience my love.' She finally smiled.

After I woke up two hours later, I felt cold, like really cold. The window was closed, so was the door. I found it very weird, so I wanted to share my experience with Monika…But she wasn't there. I tried calling out to her, but she didn't reply nor showed herself. I started to feel worried. I came closer to my computer desk, to check out some details. By details I mean the special program which we installed together, to keep track of our conversations. I don't know what was it's purpose, but It was Monika's idea back then, so I didn't really care. What I've also noticed that there was something unusual and paranormal like going on with one of my devices….

…

My printer…

 _ **It was glowing. Not just glowing with a simple light. It was a glow that was pure green.**_

It actually hurt for few seconds, but as my eyes adjusted, I continued my work. I was even more curious than now.

I checked character files. There was nothing there so I continued to game logs. When I felt I checked almost everything, I found an additional file, that I didn't know of. It's purpose was to keep some dialogues of ours saved. I quickly opened it and started to read carefully. From this, I could see, that Monika liked to talk a lot, when I was sleeping. I don't know, maybe it made her relaxed or something, but that's not what I came here for. I'm looking for an answer to the question I was asking myself all the time. Where is she?. I scrolled down to last messages.

' _ **Error, File is blocking most of memory of the computer. Starting the process of releasing…**_

' _ **What? Releasing? What are you talking abou-AAAAA HELP IT'S SUCKING ME IN, HELP M-'**_

Process of releasing? I don't remember installing this. But I know one thing, Monika is in danger. I don't know how to help. My eyes grab the attention of my printer again. It's glowing even more than previously…


	6. Chapter 6: LONE ROAD OF MEMORIES

**CHAPTER 6: LONE ROAD OF MEMORIES**

 **Monika's POV**

Everything went dark. That was the only thing that surrounded me. No sound could be heard except for my breathing. I woke up in sweat and with pain in my stomach. Even though I was conscious, I couldn't see anything. It was like something didn't allow me to open my eyes.

'Where am I? What is this place?' I shouted to myself, not expecting an answer of course. I wanted to walk, but since I had no vision of my surroundings whatsoever, I stayed in one place. Taking risks in this kind of situation is not the smartest idea. So to be clear, I knew I was stuck. Something dragged me in this place, I can't find a way out nor find any way and of course no contact with my beloved….

'Alex..' I sobbed. The next ten minutes consisted mostly of me sitting on the ground with knees close to my chest and crying. I had no hope, that someone will come and rescue me. It was happening all over again. Living a lonely life, with no one talk and no one t-

'Shhhh….quiet child…' I heard a voice. It was shallow, yet perfectly hearable. Even though I couldn't see anything,I instinctively moved my head around. I waited to hear this voice once again, but that moment didn't come for a long time. So, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

'W-Who's there?'

No answer.

'I said, Who's there?' I said with a louder tone. I could feel anger pouring through my body. I suddenly felt that I can't stop my emotions anymore, so I got up and started to talk.

'What is this place? What am I doing here? Who are you? What do you want? TALK TO ME DAMNIT!' I screamed the last part. Even with my effort, I couldn't just make this mysterious voice to talk to me again, so I sat on the floor again. It was hard, but after 2-3 minutes I calmed down and started to meditate in order to maintain my stress levels. The voice told me to be quiet so while doing that I never said a word. All of this was a good guess for me.

'Ahh….That's better' Another whisper came to my ears. 'Now, follow my voice…follow my voice…follow my voice.' Since I had nothing better to do I decided to listen to Its orders. Every time it said _Follow my voice_ , I knew in which direction I should head. There were few times that I almost got lost, but fortunately I was able to keep up. Walking like that, made it feel like it will last for eternity.

I wonder where are we head-

' Shhhhhh …. _just follow my voice._ '

Oh great, it can read my mind too. If that's what it wants then okay….

I tried to continue my meditation and walk at the same time for the rest of our journey, which I think was a success, because I didn't get any reprimand from then. On spur of moment, I heard the voice again, but this time, it told me to stop.

'Enough…..'the voice said in a rather slow manner. I haven't moved an inch from now on. I heard steps and they were getting closer to me. And closer. And closer, until they stopped right before me.

'It's time…' As I heard this, I felt something was touching my forehead. It was cold, yet very comforting for me. What came after comfort was an unbelievably painful headache. I felt my whole head will explode any second. I wanted to scream in agony, but I couldn't. I was getting weaker every moment and all of a sudden I lost all of my energy. I dropped on my knees, then I laid down on my stomach, somehow managing to turn over on my back. Then, I lost all of my consciousness..

After a short moment, I woke up again. The thing is, there was one difference now. Well maybe not just one, but a dozen of them. First of all I was in the middle of someone's bedroom. All around me there were armies of plush toys. When I saw how disorganized, chaotic and messy, I realized where I was.

'Is it Sayori's bedroom?' Yes! It definitely was her bedroom. I remember the details of her room perfectly. Every single thing is on its place, just as how I made it to look like.

'I-I don't understand.. why am I even here? As soon as I finished my sentence, my headache came back. It wasn't as strong as the previous one, but it made me blur my vision for few seconds. When everything came back to "normal" I saw something that creeped me out. In the corner of Sayori's room there was a woman. She was ugly and deformed thanks to some glitches, although she looked very human.

'This is where it all began…' She used the same voice, which I heard previously, so I assumed it's her who was speaking to me all the time.

'Began what? If you are talking about Sayori's suicide..I…I didn't mean to make her do that….I just wanted her out of the way… she was taking him away from me….. the same was with Yuri and Natsuki…'

'Selfish as always Monika. You're probably thinking that you were the only real character in your world. But is it really true? What If others are suffering thanks to your desire? What if you trapped them in their infinite loops, just to make him love you? Isn't that a bit too cruel, even for you?. They only wanted happiness, they didn't harm anyone and you were just taking it all away from them. You deserve to be called a monster, Monika..'

'…'

…

…

'But we are not here to just lecture you are we? I want to show you something. Something that will teach you some manners and show you what the real pain looks like' And then, suddenly the door to Sayori's room opens. It was her in person walking in here.

'S-sayori?' She didn't react. I tried again just to make sure. 'Sayori? It's me Monika.'

'She can't hear or see you. She is alone and we are just "spectators".'

'Spectators? What are you talking about?'

'Oh you probably already know.'

'No..'

Our conversation was interrupted with a loud voice coming from the other side of her room. It was Sayori herself, caring a medium size wooden chair and along her shoulder was a rope. She started to set up her plan of disappearing.

'NO! WHOEVER YOU ARE, STOP HER! PLEASE!' I shouted very loud, but the only thing that she did was evilly chuckled.

'This will not end like this…Sayori I'm coming to help. As I try to grab her shoulder. Instead of feeling it, I gasp in surprise that my hand went through her.

I couldn't stop her.

I

I just couldn't.

I was forced to watch it all. She made me stay still, not able to close my eyes, or look away.

Every second she was closer to actually completing every single task. As she finished, she began to climb on her chair and put the rope around her neck. I expected her to do it immediately but before that happened, she was talking to herself.

'Yes..This is it…the moment where I can be free from my rainclouds. They will be gone forever. Monika was right…I was just a burden to all of my friends…they don't need me anymore. My childhood friend…won't need me anymore. Everything will be better when the won't have to worry about me…So.. let the brighter future for the world begin…'

She kicked the chair down.

'N-NOOO. SAYORI!' Tears started to flow through my eyes. I saw Sayori losing her breath each second. It was a nightmare. Why? Why was I so blind? Why did I want her dead so much? She had to go through all of this, while I was determined to force his feelings, to make him love me, to be with him. I feel weak, lost and angry, angry at myself. I have a urge to vomit, but the mysterious character is torturing me by sending the vomit back to my stomach. And then… everything went silent.

Sayori killed herself. I knew the blood was on my hands and you have no idea how much I regret that decision. Just when I thought it was over, a figure spoke again. 'You see, thanks to you, your dearest friend thought that she doesn't belong here. That she is useless. If you hadn't tampered with her emotions, then she would have managed, but no. You had to be a cruel bitch and screw her life over. And that's why you deserve to see the process again. And again. And again. And again. And gain. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.'

And so I did. Everytime feeling even worse than before. At last, she broke me. I didn't want to cause anymore pain. I wanted to change, but how? How am I supposed to when I did things like that.

' _P-please n-no m-mor-re..'_ I murmured weakly. Any time and I would probably die, due to the mental exhaustion that I experienced.

'Ooh really? But we are just getting started..' She closed her eyes and looked very focused. Then, in a brief moment we were in our club room.

 **Alex's POV**

'COME ON, COME ON COME ON!' I desperately slammed my fist onto the desk. I tried to do everything to bring her back onto my monitor. I've searched every single file in order to find her, but she wasn't there. Even her character file disappeared. Everything I did was for nothing. She couldn't just reappear on my screen. The log showed ma that something sucked her in, which means that she is still somewhere on this computer. The only clue, that I had was my unnaturally green glowing printer, but I prefer not to touch it right now.

'Alex why are you shouting again?' I heard my mother call my name from downstairs.

'Ahh It's just…' I had no Idea how to explain it. The situation was so bizarre and I don't think my mother would believe that I have a virtual girlfriend on my computer. Come on Alex, think…

'Just what? Do you need some assistance over there?'

'N-no! It's just that something annoyed probably popped in my computer, probably a virus and I'm trying to deal with it right now. Don't worry I can handle it alone and since when you were so interested in technology?'

I heard a genuine laugh, which made me smile too.

'Since you showed me how to use my Smartphone. I'm still not sure how it works, but It's so fascinating to watch it work, haha…'

'Yea, sure…'

'Hey kiddo!'

'What is it mom?'

'A friend of mine just called me, said that she will be near my town for few days? Will you be able to take care of yourself for that time?'

'Mom, I'm not that young, I will manage, I promise'

'Okay then, because I'm heading out right now.. Seeyouinfewdaysbyeloveyouhoney!

I won't even ask, but It doesn't matter. I have to focus on my task, but where to start….

 **Monika's POV**

'Are you done watching your friends die already?' She said with a rather calm tone.

'Y-YES! OH MY GOD WHY AM I LIKE THIS, HOW COULD I LIVE WITH ALL OF THIS ON MY HANDS FOR THAT LONG? YOU'RE RIGHT. I AM A MONSTER THAT DOESN'T DESERVE ANYTHING.'

'You might think that I'm being cruel and yes I am. But I'm not here to laugh at you or anything. I just wanted you to finally see.. see the truth.

'So why do you still keep me here huh? Is there still any purpose I will serve on your funny little game?'

'Monika…' She gently grabs my hand. For the first time I saw her face upclose. From a bigger distance she seemed like the ugliest thing that has ever existed, but when she got so close, I saw her beautiful, full of energy eyes and a smile. Glitches started to disappear to reveal her long, straight white hair. Her posture changed to more human-like. Right now she looked like she was in my age, maybe a little older.

'There is no doubt, that what you did was horrible. The suffering you made them go through is unbelievably big . You hurt all of us to get him to love you.' She stopped for a moment to calm herself down. 'But seeing you regret it all, makes me feel there is still a big part of humanity in you. You felt empathy. Seeing them suffer from the different perspective did teach you a lesson. A lesson that shows that you shouldn't manipulate others. If you didn't react like you did, then at this time you would be long gone, dead, deleted, non existent…'

'S-so, what am I still doing here? I asked her uncertainly.

'I will never experience the idea of being alive, that Is just out of my range and I can't do anything about it. There is one thing that I can actually do. I can give you a chance. A chance for real life, not bonded by scripts or any system. You will have a chance to finally cross through our worlds…'

'But h-how-'

'It doesn't matter how Monika, but for me it's possible to transfer you to the real world. I can do that any time, but I have some conditions for you and you have to fulfill them, otherwise you will be stuck here forever.'

'What is it?' I await instructions. She is carefully thinking about what to say and I patiently wait.

'First, Your process of manipulating people, even in real life must end. You have to be mostly honest with people. Too many lies will provoke unpleasant situations. Second, I want to ask you, do you truly love the person, who do you spoke to for the past time?

'With all my heart.' I answer calmly, yet with a bit of enthusiasm.

'That's good to hear. My second and last condition is: just try to be happy…'

…

This proposition of hers is so unreal, yet It feels like it's my only chance to redeem myself. I don't think too long about all of this.

'I accept your conditions. This time I want this to be right. I want to fix my life and start from the bottom…'

'That's what I wanted to hear. So are you ready or you need some time?'

'Wait!' She looks at me with her focused gray eyes 'Before I go, I wanted to know something about you.. You never introduced yourself you know.'

'Yes indeed I never talked about my Indetity to you. It's not because I have something to hide, but most of my memories are shattered and lost, so I only remember a small parts of them'

'Can I at least your name?' I asked.

'Of course…. My name is Libitina.'

'It was nice to meet you Libitina…'

'You too monika. Are you ready now my dear?'

'…Yes… You can do it.'

'The only thing I can say right now is… Good luck in your new life. I hope you will do well..Goodbye.'


	7. Chapter 7: SUDDEN GUEST

**CHAPTER 7: SUDDEN GUEST**

 **Alex's POV**

Several minutes pass and I completed the meal I had cooked for myself. I wasn't mostly good at cooking, but I managed to learn some recipes from the internet, so I could never go hungry, when my mom wasn't home. Right now, I was preparing my favorite: crisp, grilled cheese sandwiches. Under normal circumstances, I would me more than happy to eat them, but… I thought about what was happening like an hour ago. First, the disappearance of Monika and my desperate tries to bring back communications with her. Since I couldn't really do anything, I decided to do something else and maybe wait for other things to happen. Feeling of loneliness came back to my mind and without any warning, my stomach started to hurt, which caused me to lose all my previous appetite. I put my sandwiches into my microwave and simply left them there for now. I came back to my room and laid on my bed. Sometimes, I glanced on my printer, which was still affected by green light. I was scared to touch it or use it. I'm sure that it's connected to Monika's disappearance. Is she in a printer? Hell no, that's just impossible and the whole concept is an absurd. Maybe during that "Process of releasing" some damaged files affected the machine? Ahh…too much thinking, I can only speculate…

I quickly become too tired to actually think, so I make myself comfortable and prepare to take a small nap. As I do, I change into more comfortable clothes, I take one of my cushions and a blanket, which were previously on the floor and put them back on my bed. Just when I was about to fall asleep, I heard a noise, coming from the living room. It sounded like one of my mugs fell from the counter and shattered on the floor.

'It's probably Ashley snooping around again. Why does she like to destroy my stuff so much?' I murmur to myself. To make things clear, Ashley is a dog. We found her few years ago, lying on the cold streets as a puppy. When she looked at me and my mother with her diamond blue eyes, we just knew that she belonged to us now from that moment. Back then, we had no experience with taking care of animals. Ashley was our first, so there were problems at first, like trying to make her deal with physiological needs outside, but we managed to deal almost with everything, almost. We couldn't get rid of her urge to destroy things. It makes her happy and excited, when something breaks or when she is the one to do it. I don't know why is it so thrilling for her, but it's a habit that she just can't let go of.

As I walk downstairs, I take a glance around. I notice Ashley innocently sleeping on our sofa. It is weird that she didn't react to this situation and she was just calmly taking a comfortable nap. I focus my attention towards kitchen. I walk to one of my shattered mugs and closely inspect it.

'Damn, it was my favorite one…' I begin to collect all parts and threw them into trash bin.

When I was done, I decided to watch a movie, instead of sleeping. It was hard for me to decide, but fortunately, after few minutes, I finally pick one. It was a Sci-fi horror movie, never heard of it, although the name and description sounded interesting. After 20 minutes, I was already fully embracing the plot. I was almost in something trance like. For a moment, it helped me to forget, but only for a moment. Suddenly, I hear another mug falling on the floor. God damn it, what is wrong with these mugs today? – I think to myself. When I was about to start cleaning it again, I heard some disturbing sounds, coming from TV: screeches, static, few bangs and zaps. I begin to panic as to what was happening. The walls were losing their color and our wooden floor felt like it was burning. I quickly rushed to my room, away from the heat and just when I thought I was partially safe, I took a look at my printer. _And it was flying in the air_. I'm not kidding. I thought that this was all some hallucinations that haunted me and I was sleeping right now. I pinched my cheek just to be met with no change.

'H..how…wait what is happening?' I said with a small panicky voice. The machine started to dangerously shake. It's green light was getting so powerful, that in few moments light was the only thing that I could see. It surrounded me. I should be feeling scared or disoriented, but the more I embraced the green light, the more I felt comfortable and calm. At one point, I even wanted to stay in this tran- _**BOOM!**_.

And just like that, I was back in my bedroom, covering my ears from the loud noise that the explosion made. Whole room was in smoke. I dramatically gasped for air, looking for my window. The problem is, that I couldn't find it. I started to feel dizzy and second by second, my consciousness was disappearing. When I thought, that it couldn't be worse, I started to hear white noise. It filled my ears and was so painful, that I didn't know what I wanted more: to breath, or to make it stop. As moments pass, I find myself already laying on the floor, looking up. I was about to asphyxiate, but before that happened, I felt something heavy on my body. I couldn't tell what was it, because I didn't have enough energy to move, _so I finally gave away my struggle and my mind went blank…_

 **20 minutes later**

The smoke was gone, yet the heavy feeling on my body is still present. I try to move slightly my head on my other side to see my desk. I expected it all to be damaged or destroyed, but in fact everything was on it's place. Laptop turned on, still showing the empty Monika's room and some background applications working right now. Printer was intact and it seemed like there was no damage done to it. I'm feeling dizzy and hold myself from vomiting on the floor. I try to get up again, but without any good results. I quickly glanced on my body to see the reason why can't I move. What surprised me, that it wasn't something which kept me on the ground, _**rather someone.**_ With all of my strength and carefulness, I make an attempt to free myself. It was partially successful. I managed to move a little, so I could actually sit on the floor, but now my legs were uncontrollable. This person's arms were all wrapped around them and hear head was resting on my knees, so It's understandable. I could feel hair tingling me. So, I assume it's a girl we're talking about. I notice, that her hair is brown, very shiny and straight. I looked slightly up and what I was far from normal. She had a massive ribbon, tied to her hair. It's whiteness reminded me of something familiar…wait, didn't a certain girl from my computer wear the same one? It's size is even noticeably familiar. That can't be her, It's just physically imposible…Maybe she broke into my house and she is some sort of cosplayer? But why would she do that? Why is she laying on my floor unconscious then? I don't see her being hurt in any way, she is just here, on me and on my floor. As I regain my strength, I try to get up once more. This time, I take my hand on her back part of her head and her back and slowly, but efficiently gain more space. At last, I was able to move freely and found myself crouching and still holding the girl. I was now able to see closer how she looks. She was very heavy, yet she looked very slim. I could see that she had some muscles too, not like the ones Buffsuki had (hehe), but for example her hands felt very strong. Either her muscles made her like that, or I'm just a week loser, who doesn't go to the gym very often. Yea, probably the second option is correct. But anyway, Once I fully recovered, I grabbed her and held her bridal style. My bed was one the other side of my room, so for a weakling like me it was like a Mount Everest trip, but I managed to do it. I carefully placed her on mattress, grabbed a pillow and placed it under her head. Then, I tried to check her condition. There was nothing wrong with her body and hell, she looked very attractive. I wonder If I could-

'No…Focus Alex. This isn't time for the hormones to kick in. I have better things to do.' I talk to myself.

After my moment of weakness, I come back to acting as her personal doctor. I check her pulse, which was pretty normal. I placed my left hand or her forehead. It was slightly warmer, than it should be. So, she was struggling with a small fever. I rushed downstairs for something cold on her head and also on something that could get rid of her problem. One of our salves will be good for this situation. We always keep them for special occasions. They are home-made by my mother. Most of them are focused on relaxing our bodies, but there are few which deal with diseases. Fortunately, I found what I needed and quickly came back to my unusual guest.

I opened the salve container and gently rubbed its containment onto Monika's head. While I was doing that, I couldn't skip the fact, that her skin was very smooth, it felt very new. No wrinkles or pimples on her body. Either she is taking good care of herself, or I just found the most adorable and pretty person on the whole earth. AHH! STOP THINKING ABOUT LOOKS NOW! WHY AM I SUCH A PERV? I should focus on helping her, than admiring her, but it's really tempting to d- I SAID SHUT UP DICKHEAD!.

I sigh. Everything what I could do was done. The only thing that was left is to wait. Besides waiting, I had one idea. I slowly walked out of my room and went back to kitchen in intention to clean the rest of mug's broken parts, but I didn't expect my floor to be completely clean. Also I noticed that my walls were completely normal again. The weirdest thing though, was that the mugs were untouched. Was this all going on only in my mind? Am I going crazy? Ahh…I don't think too much as another idea popped out. Since my mind played tricks on me and I didn't have to clean all of this, I immediately headed towards my microwave. My stomach was still to tense to eat something, but I figured that beauty on my bed may be a little bit hungry. I grabbed a plate with both of my sandwiches and headed back downstairs. Damn, how many times I have done that… I'm starting to get tired of this instant walking…

 **Monika's POV**

As soon as I said my goodbyes with Libitina, I felt uneasy. My legs felt weak and that's when I noticed that lost all of my ground and starting to fall into infinite abyss. As I was falling, I started to feel, that I lose my powers. My command console was gone and I couldn't summon it anymore. Second by second, I felt heavier, like something was filling me up. Was it weight? I don't know but hell that hurt very badly. Few minutes passed and I started to think. Was it really true what Libitina told me? Am I going to the real world, or she just tricked me, got rid of me, so she can take control? I don't know anymore. Suddenly, a small light appears. It grows bigger as I fall and get closer to it. Then I know that this light means that it's probably the exit. For no apparent reason, I started to scream. Is this the feeling that people call… panic? Fear? Fear that I might die from this? The light was very very bright now. Just a few hundred metres more and I will reach it. I don't know if I'm ready, but I will try to…

Behind the light, there was a small room and a familiar person in it? Was it Alex? Was it really him? To be honest, It would be logical to appear in his house, but right now I was only seeing that person from the upper perspective, so I couldn't tell. I was about to look on the other details in this room, but I noticed that most of it was covered with smoke. Suddenly it was too late to do anything, because I felt hitting something hard and then everything went dark.

Even though that happened, I still felt some consciousness left in me. Not much and It couldn't even let me open my eyes or move in any way, but…I was able to hear some unfamiliar sounds. I don't know what it was, but it kind of frightened me. Fear again. Was this a frequent emotion in human worl-…Wait am I dreaming? Am I really in the real world? Oh my, that thought made me question everything I knew before and basically from what I know, I just broke the laws of physics, but it doesn't matter now does it? I am alive and real, but right now I was in no state to do anything. With no apparent reason, I felt even weaker than before. My head went through hell again. I felt like it was pushing me, trying to squeeze my brain. Also, I had a weird feeling that it was on fire. Wait how do I know about burning and how about something called fire? Oh right, Internet tells you everything huh? I struggle with this awful feeling of pain as I try to wake up, no success. After some time, pain and heat got stronger. My thoughts weren't that calm anymore and instead, chaos was ruling in my head. Everything from this torturing feeling to loneliness of this situation and also emotions such as being scared.

And then, I felt movement. If only could, I would jump and scream from that, as it was a "jumpscare" for me, but I couldn't. I felt the uncomfortable and heavy mass moving from my position, and I begin to slip from it. In a second later, I feel that mass grabbing the back of my head and my back. If it's moving, then it's alive too, if it's alive then… oh my god a human just touched me?

this feeling is so unsettling, yet I feel safe in this person's arms or something that grabbed me. On spur of moment, I lost my feeling of ground again. Yet this time, I wasn't falling. That person held me and prevented from hitting the floor. I was moved to the other location, which wasn't probably far, because we stopped after a minute. I felt something weird on my back, but it felt nice. It was far better than the place I was before, yet I still didn't feel safe, when that person wasn't around me. I regularly heard some weird sounds, footsteps perhaps? Once they were getting louder and once quieter. The louder they were, the better I felt. At last, the person stopped walking and I knew that was very close to me. I could feel the warmth of his body, the smell which wanted me to scratch my nose, but still pleasant. Then, I felt cold on my forehead. It was like I was rubbed there with something. It doesn't matter. I really liked it. A person was using something to fight my painful fire nested in my head. It seemed to work, because I calmed down a little. My mind was getting back to normal and now I was starting to regain strength. Just a little more and I can wake up….

...

...

...

I gently open my eyes for the first time…


End file.
